A wise, compassionate, and fellow survivor recently posted about High Functioning Depression on Facebook. With Lori’s permission, I share her thoughts below:
“A term many have never heard before but I’ll bet you know someone who has it. You know the type. That person who excels in everything they do. One who is always reminding you the glass is half full instead of half empty. Someone who goes out of their way for everyone around them. The extrovert that everyone wants to be around. The one who laughs easily and appears to have the best life. Someone you can always count on to come through in a pinch. The one who sets the bar higher than you could ever reach. The person you wish you could be.
Many seemingly happy, well adjusted individuals who excel in life, fight depression in silence every day. Maybe they don’t want to disappoint anyone by admitting they aren’t as together as they appear or that being that perfect person is hard. Really hard. Maybe they don’t want to be seen as a cry baby by talking about what is bothering them or worse, a burden. Maybe, they believe that if they just suck it up, it will go away. Until they can’t.
We have seen a number of celebrities die by suicide in the last few years. All of who seemed to be absolutely fine to the people around them. Absolutely fine, even to those closest to them, until they were gone. These were all people in the public eye who made the news. We have to wonder how many ordinary, every day people suffer in silence too until they are gone.
Depression isn’t something to be ashamed of yet we hide it at all costs. So check in on your strong friends and keep an open connection with them. Don’t assume they have it all. If they really are perfect it will be nice to hear from you. If they are suffering from high functioning depression that connection could save a life.”–Lori De Anda
When I read Lori’s post, I admit that I had never heard of High Functioning Depression. If we were playing Truth or Dare, I would have to confess that I recognized myself in several of her statements. Being a strong woman and advocate is how I got the nickname Tough Cookie. Please take a look at more details in How I Earned The Nickname Tough Cookie.
According to my research, over 16.2 million adults in the United States have at least one major battle with depression each year. Because of our emotions, thoughts, early-life experiences, beliefs, health, finances, relationships, to name a few, every person can get depressed. Simply put, depression is a mood disorder that causes an ongoing feeling of despair and loss of interest in daily activities. It can also happen at any age.
Top 10 Triggers Of Depression
No matter what source I found, most of the information listed these as the Top 10 Triggers (from The Holmes And Rahe Stress Scale):
- Death of a spouse/child
- Divorce
- Marital separation
- Imprisonment
- Death of a close family member
- Personal injury or illness
- Marriage
- Dismissal from work
- Marital reconciliation
- Retirement
Additional Causes
Here are some additional causes of depression in alphabetical order:
- Abuse-drama, emotional, physical, sexual
- Age-elderly at higher risk
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Being bullied
- Certain medications
- Craving fast food and other unhealthy foods
- Disputes and isolation from family members or trusted friends
- Feeling invisible or unappreciated
- Frustration-things not going your way
- Gender-women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed
- Gene/DNA-family history of depression
- Guilt-the workhorse of all emotions
- Living paycheck to paycheck
- Low self-worth
- Major illness, chronic pain, resulting in social isolation
- Moving
- Neglecting your own or a loved one’s health concerns
- Not being accepted/Not fitting in
- People pleasing-instead of what you want
- Pulling away from friends, family, and social invitations
- Sleep problems (too much or too little)
- Substance abuse like alcohol and drugs
- Suicidal thoughts-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
Lori’s suggestion at the end of her post is heartfelt and insightful. Even the strongest and most independent people get stuck in grief and depression. It’s best never to make assumptions about any friend or family member. I believe most people cry when they are alone. Thanks, Lori, for letting me share your thoughts.
Time is the one thing we all have the same amount of. So please, take a moment and reach out to those you care about. In my mind, a call and invitation to get together is more personal than a text or email. Besides that, you can tell more from a person’s voice about how they are feeling on the inside. I think that is why there are phone hotlines and lifelines instead of text/email lines (the exception might be in domestic violence cases).
Tough Cookie Tip: The only way to solve any problem is to meet it head-on! Seek professional counseling if you hit the brick wall while trying. Feeling good about yourself and being able to feel joy again is worth all the hard work of therapy. And it could also save your life.
Copyright © 2022-2025 Marilyn K Fuller. All Rights Reserved.
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I feel like anyone who has lost someone they really loved has some of these qualities as a result of that loss.