Jailbait Advocate Part 1

I am proud to be a jailbait advocate because I was willing to go to jail to protect my child in the Albuquerque Public School (APS) system.

This is the first of a series of survival stories about my son’s experience in the public school system and the beginning of my career as a human rights advocate.

If not for my son’s lifelong disability and incurable disease, I would have lived in ignorance, believing that the most vulnerable in our great democracy get what they are legally entitled to receive. Especially children.

Tough Cookie Definition Of Advocate

An advocate is a person who believes that every human being deserves to be treated fairly, with respect, with compassion, and with equal opportunities. Advocates are against discrimination in any form and are warriors for diversity, equality, and inclusion.

The word “advocate” also refers to a person who publicly supports and works to change policies, laws, or rules that discriminate or impact how someone lives their life.

They are often passionately involved in worthy causes to help individuals with social injustices or facing legal issues. Advocates are sometimes the voice for children and adults who are unable to speak out for many reasons.

Since laws are merely words on pieces of paper, the advocates of the world are the ones who hold people in high places accountable for implementing the laws. You know, liberty and justice for all.

Eubank Elementary

Hayes had an excellent start in kindergarten at Eubank Elementary. I think the reasons were that his teacher, Mrs. Whelan, had a special education background, and she loved teaching. The principal was caring. There were no problems, and I was feeling hopeful.

An Angel When You Need One

Fortunately, one day, while sitting on a concrete bench waiting for Hayes to get out of his kindergarten class, I met a wingless angel advocate named Bridget. She asked, “Hi. Who are you waiting for?” I said, “My son Hayes.” Then she said, “Hayes? My daughter always talks about him. They are in the same class.”

As it turned out, Bridget also had a son living with a lifelong disability, and she was employed by Parents Reaching Out. She invited me to one of the trainings about advocating for your child with special needs in the public school system.

I have learned to pay attention to the words of strangers who “just happen” to appear in your life with important information. At the beginning of the next school year, I found out why that “chance” meeting happened.

I went to the training and began educating myself about the laws determining the rights of students with disabilities and the rights and responsibilities of parents in the public school system.

Bridget’s invitation and the parent-to-parent connection we made that day was the beginning of my jailbait advocate days.

All Minus One = Discrimination

What a concept! Pete and I wanted the most normal life possible and the same educational and social opportunities as Hayes’ classmates-not more, just the same.

Our son had a legal right to be educated in his community school in a general education classroom with the special education support he needed to be successful in school with his non-disabled peers.

The New Eubank Elementary Principal

Unfortunately, Charles Kaplan, the new Principal, had a different plan.

Holding Hayes’ hand, we found his first-grade teacher, Mrs. Sena. After introducing myself and Hayes, she quickly said: “I can’t register your son for first grade. We don’t do things like that here. You will have to talk with the Principal.”

I questioned her, “What things don’t you do here?”

She replied, “Have educational assistants in the classroom.”

Hayes looked up at me, and I am sure I knew how he felt. What a terrible thing to hear on your first day of first grade.

As if Charles Kaplan was expecting me, he motioned us right into his Den of Discrimination, asked us to sit, and closed the door. He had zero interaction with Hayes. It was like my son was invisible to him.

“Mrs. Fuller, don’t you think Hayes would be better off attending a school that specializes in physical disability?” (How inappropriate for a principal to say that in front of my five-year-old-son.)

“Mr. Kaplan, we live two blocks from here. Don’t you think that my son has a legal right to attend Eubank Elementary so he can go to the same school with his friends in the neighborhood?”

Before he could answer, I already felt his cold vibe and knew what he wanted, so I continued, “No. He is not going to be bussed to another school. He is going to Eubank because this is his community school. He attended kindergarten here. Please register Hayes so he can join his classmates and begin first grade.”

Even though I felt so angry inside, I tried to use words and behavior that would best show Hayes how to be a self-advocate one day. Charles Kaplan walked us silently back to the classroom and instructed the teacher to register Hayes.

Definition Of Discrimination

According to Oxford American Writer’s Thesaurus: discrimination n, prejudice, bias, bigotry, intolerance, narrow-mindedness, unfairness, inequity, favoritism, one-sidedness, partisanship, sexism, chauvinism, misogyny, racism, anti-Semitism, heterosexism, ageism, classism.”

Discrimination is not acceptable in any public school system. Public school is where most children learn about America’s history, the struggles and vision, and the sacrifices made over decades by others before us to preserve individual rights and personal freedom of choice.

Empath Intuition

On my Hi. page, I stated that I am an empath. Being highly sensitive, I can absorb positive and negative energy just by being in someone’s presence. I can pick up on other people’s feelings. Also, my gut feelings about people are heightened and, in the long haul, rarely wrong.

That fateful day I met Charles Kaplan, I knew he would do everything in his power to make Hayes’ time at Eubank Elementary as stressful as possible so we would pull him out and send him to “another school that specializes in physical disability.”

The Price Tag

I never thought I would be in an adversarial situation with my child’s school. I experienced that some public school bureaucrats can be just as corrupt as some politicians. Both groups use fear and power to prevent the truth from being told.

When people in high places do not honor the law, it takes unending acts of courage and faith to protect children.

From first through fifth grade, a large chunk of precious time with Hayes was stolen from me. I believe Charles Kaplan did not want to deal with me or be bothered with implementing IDEA (Individuals With Disabilities Education Act) while in charge at Eubank.

For additional information, please check out a previous post, Preschoolers With Special Education Needs.

You will be shocked to learn all the details when this series is completed.

Tough Cookie Tip: I hope your family has only positive experiences while navigating the public school years. The best information I ever received was from other parents who had children with many different life conditions and daily needs.

So, research and reach out to those parent groups in your community specific to your child’s educational, social, emotional, medical, and mental health needs. Parent-to-Parent connections can be arranged. You can talk with or meet with another parent who has gone through what you need support with. Some organizations also offer ongoing support group meetings.

Copyright © 2022-2025 Marilyn K Fuller. All Rights Reserved.

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