Like many newlyweds, life became trying to figure out how to make ends meet and still have some money left over to have fun. Pete and I were passionate about seeing new places and tent camping. Our travels led us to the natural and sacred sites in Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, South Dakota, Utah, Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico. New Mexico turned out to be our get away to the peaceful future we wanted and to live more affordably in the Land of Enchantment.
New Life In Albuquerque
I believe we both thought that if we physically separated from the source of our problems, we would be happier. After six years of dating, engagement, and married life, we said our “adios” to family and friends and moved 1,336 miles from Chicago, Illinois, to Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Because of our camping adventures, I always dreamed about living near the mountains. We stayed in a motel for about a week while we searched for our new Southwest homestead. Good fortune came our way when we found a great triplex and rented one of the two-bedroom units. The best things about our new home were the captivating views of the Sandia Mountains and the nearby high desert open space for hiking and exploring. From our place, we could see sixty-mile views of Santa Fe in the north and Grants in the west.
Mountains are impressive and spiritual. The Sandias create the far eastern boundary of the city. The highest point is Sandia Crest with an elevation of 10,678 feet. The Sandia Pueblo Indians call the mountain “Bien Mur” which means “big mountain.” The Spanish word for “watermelon” is “sandia.” During certain times of the year, the mountains glow in dynamic pink hues at sunset. The 19 Pueblos of New Mexico’s spiritual beliefs and sacred value of their homeland is why this state is still primarily rural and pristine.
The photos below represent the terrain in the foothills of the Sandia Mountains called Open Space.
The gutsy move to Albuquerque solved the Illinois Sunday and holiday dilemmas but created other stresses for us to figure out as a couple. Pete and I had been busy recreating our life together in New Mexico. He worked his way up to a middle management position in a local dairy. I was a legal assistant for a Divorce and Family Law firm. Soon, I hoped to be in a position to attend law school. Our families had quit asking us if we would ever have children. After all, it had been a decade since we married.
The Godfather’s Revelation
My sister and husband already had a daughter and newborn twins, a boy, and a girl. I was Godmother to their first daughter; my sister asked Pete to be Godfather to their second daughter. “Uncle Pete” accepted the responsibility willingly, and we drove to Illinois to be present for the twins’ big bash.
It was a glorious day with lilies of the valley and wild violets in bloom. The huge cottonwood, oak, and red maple trees welcomed the cloudless sky and guaranteed a good weather day. My sister and husband set up and decorated picnic tables and card tables, the workhorses of so many Midwestern celebrations. My sister’s creative flare for having parties was everywhere you looked. God had blessed her, her husband, their first daughter, and all the family and friends who cared about them with healthy twins. The plentiful banners, balloons, laughs, traditional blue and pink baby decorations, food and drink, and crying in double doses announced their miraculous lives to the world. How good life can be!
There is something magical and profound when holding “a wee one,” as the Irish say. Early in the celebration, my sister put her tiny daughter into her big Godfather’s arms for the first time. I intently watched my husband’s face. It was the third time I saw him tear up. I did not know exactly what his tears meant. Were they tears of regret? Were they tears of joy? Were they tears grieving a love he never knew being raised by alcoholic parents? Was he afraid to be a father? As I wrote in Hot One In Classified, Pete said he never wanted to have children. Years ago, I said the same thing. But we never talked about the reasons in detail for why we felt that way.
The celebration was uplifting and worth the 2,672-mile road trip. I will never forget how fun and challenging it was for me to try to hold those two babies at the same time. I noticed that Pete was quite stingy about letting anyone else hold his Godchild princess, and I could tell something was getting to him.
Highway Therapy
On the long ride back home, we had uninterrupted time to reflect on the trip. Pete couldn’t stop talking about how cute Aubre and Keith were. He initiated the conversation. So, we started talking about parenthood and how we each felt about starting our own family at that point in our marriage. Our highway therapy revealed that we both had a change of heart and were ready for the enormous Mom and Dad responsibilities. It was the most important decision of our marriage and lives. And in my mind, becoming parents just felt right.
I was thirty-six and Pete was thirty-four. Not too late to be a mom, but I was definitely feeling the pressure of that ticking hormonal clock. We had tried hard over the many years to prevent pregnancy and wondered how difficult it would be to conceive a child with our aging body parts.
Tough Cookie Tip: No other experience in life will teach you more about yourself, unconditional love, commitment, sacrifice, joy, sorrow, beliefs, and purpose from conception, birth, and the years that follow. You never know when you just might be divinely trusted to parent a Hero or Shero.
Copyright © 2022-2025 Marilyn K Fuller. All Rights Reserved.
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I remember that day so well.. I think it was Pete rocking Aubre in the rocking chair that won him over. That was the same chair Mike felling into and turned white as a ghost when I told him we were having twins! I hope that chair is still blessing someone with love & happiness. I t was sold in our garage sale years ago. Funny thing about that chair is I picked it out of the trash. Wonder what happened. In that chair before that?!?
What an adventure you two undertook picking your next place to live. Beautiful pictures!
Can’t wait for “the REST of the story” !