What happens when we die? In American culture, few people share their thoughts about dying. I’ve met some who think they will be the first person never to die. That question took over my mind following two life-changing events when I was barely an adult.
Route 66
Our yearly family vacations were road trips on Historic Route 66 from Chicago, Illinois, to Joplin, Missouri, during the summer. Mom missed her family and wanted to spend time with her twin sister, parents, other siblings, and their children.
Deb and I bellyached from the backseat, persistently asking, “Are we there yet? How much longer to the Mule Trading Post?” The Mule was the stop where we got our reward with little bits of souvenir fodder that one day soon would be in one of Mom’s yard sales. Beads of sweat come to mind as one of the most vivid memories of the long ride-that and watching the sky for funnel clouds since we drove the entire way in Tornado Alley.
My cousin, Randy, was five years younger than me. He was one of the cousins I hung out with during our Missouri trips. His mom’s name was Kathryn, but everyone called her Kay. It is also my middle name. I remember the twinkle in his eyes and sweet innocence when we spent time together. Like my son, he was always smiling and up for having fun. I knew Randy would grow up to make a difference in the world if only he got the chance.
Randy and my son Hayes had the same aura about them.
Then the call came. I was 18. Randy died at home at the age of 14. I knew he had been sick with fainting spells and eventually was diagnosed with a rare disease, Romano-Ward syndrome.
Romano-Ward syndrome
According to Medline Plus: “Romano-Ward syndrome is a condition that causes a disruption of the heart’s normal rhythm (arrhythmia). This disorder is a form of long QT syndrome, which is a heart condition that causes the heart (cardiac) muscle to take longer than usual to recharge between beats. The term “long QT” refers to a specific pattern of heart activity that is detected with an electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG), which is a test used to measure the electrical activity of the heart. In people with long QT syndrome, the part of the heartbeat known as the QT interval is abnormally long. Abnormalities in the time it takes to recharge the heart lead to abnormal heart rhythms.
The arrhythmia associated with Romano-Ward syndrome can lead to fainting (syncope) or cardiac arrest and sudden death. However, some people with Romano-Ward syndrome never experience any health problems associated with the condition.”
Our family made the trip to Misery for the viewing, visitation, and services in memory of one of the dearest souls I ever met. I could not accept my cousin was gone. I struggled with a mess of emotions and did not want to be there. I don’t do good with lifeless, especially children. It was the first time someone so young that I loved died. Over and over, I questioned why Randy had to die so young, how would my Aunt Kay ever survive the loss of her precious son, and what happens when we die.
Every family member on my mother’s side was advised to be tested for Romano-Ward syndrome.
A year after Randy passed away, my father passed away unexpectedly at 56, which I wrote about in The Dad I Loved But Never Understood. I was 19. Those two deaths so close together dispirited me. My spirit needed to know that Randy and Dad were okay. I wanted proof that our souls lived on, and my urgent search began for factual assurance. As I often do in times of doubt and sorrow, I found a book.
Life After Life
Raymond A. Moody is a physician, forensic psychiatrist, philosopher, and author. He is credited with being the “father” of the modern NDE (Near Death Experience) movement. A near-death experience is an experience that a person has in a physical state where the risk of death is near. He is the author of the book I read Life After Life which documents people who had experienced clinical death. Moody’s research, which he did while he was a skeptic and atheist, brought to light common experiences people shared, such as the feeling of being outside of or above the physical body, encountering a bright life, life review visions of one’s past, the sensation of healing peace, being greeted by angels and loved ones who previously passed over, relief from physical pain, and passing through a tunnel into a divine experience.
Near Death Experience (NDE)
Modern CPR (Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation) was developed in 1960. The American Heart Association started a program to acquaint physicians with close-cardio resuscitation. The ability to revive someone near death gave more information and understanding of what it means to be dead.
Children and adults have NDEs. Some people who have died on an operating table or crash cart reported watching from above as doctors tried to save them. Perplexed doctors subsequently verified the reported account by the patient.
Dr. Moody expressed his personal conclusions about his research in an interview with Jeffrey Michlove, Ph.D., radio and television interviewer:
“I don’t mind saying that after talking with over a thousand people who have had these experiences, and having experienced many times some of the really baffling and unusual features of these experiences, it has given me great confidence that there is a life after death. As a matter of fact, I must confess to you in all honesty, I have absolutely no doubt, on the basis of what my patients have told me, that they did get a glimpse of the beyond.”
At this writing, Life After Life has sold over 13 million copies worldwide. Its research and positive messages completely changed the way many people now view death and dying. I know it changed mine. Doubt diminished, sorrow subsided, and my exploration to learn more about the paranormal continues. Although scientific research to prove there is life after death is ongoing, I believe there will be a solid discovery down the road to confirm what happens when we die. The more technology to study the brain and energy advances, the connection between this life and the one beyond will finally be visible.
Not only did Moody’s research and messages restore my belief in an afterlife, but I’ve experienced paranormal events that I will share in future blog posts.
Resources
MedlinePlus https://medlineplus.gov
Life After Life https://lifeafterlife.com
International Association For Near-Death Studies, Inc. (IANDS) https://iands.org
Parapsychological Association https://www.parapsych.org
Proof of Heaven A Neurosurgeon’s Journey into the Afterlife by Eben Alexander, M.D
Tough Cookie Tip: I encourage you to be open to miracles whether you identify as a religious or spiritual person. In my lifetime, I have been both. The difference narrows down to your idea of God. For a religious person, the traditions and beliefs of the chosen faith are pre-determined by the church leadership. A spiritual person seeks more freedom to believe in a higher power (their unique concept of God), the universe, the supernatural, and life itself. Either choice should add peace, hope, strength, and passionate purpose to your time on this side of life.
Copyright © 2022-2025 Marilyn K Fuller. All Rights Reserved.
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Very thought provoking entry. I believe we all have the ability to reach across đimensions, we just rarely recognize it. I have learned to trust my gut. It is rarely wrong. I just don’t always get the memo. Numerous times I have fleetingly thought of someone out of the blue, had a vivid dream, had a memory that I can’t quite grasp repeat over and over in my head or been uneasy for no reason. Then someone I know dies or needs support and the pieces suddenly fit together. I don’t ignore those moments any more.
I always remember how much that book has meant to you. I have to admit I don’t remember a thing about going to Randy’s funeral. Is there anything else you remember?
My mom and dad didn’t think there was a afterlife. I do. So maybe I’ll have a long talk with them, when I see them next.